What’s The Right Job For Me?

Q: My question is about a job. I don’t know what kind of job is right for me and I’m always wondering what it is I want for my life: where to go, what I need.

John: The deeper levels of you are not able to even relate to a job. The deeper levels of you do not need a job.

Q: They need money!

John: The deeper levels of you do not need any money. The deeper levels of you don’t need shelter, don’t need food, don’t need water, don’t even need physical life.

Q: I want family, I want children and I want work … it’s my life and I love it!

John: The responsibility of having a job and being active in this world belongs to the surface level of you. It does not belong to the deeper levels of you. There are many of you, and having a job belongs to only one of you.

What really matters is that this one of you that’s responsible to have a job, does a job and has a job for all of these other levels of you. Then it’s clean. But if you have a job for the surface level of you, you separate because there isn’t just the surface level of you: everything that you do on the surface belongs and is given to what’s deeper. So when you do your job – and it doesn’t matter what job you do – you go to work and you’re at work for all of these other deeper levels of you. When that’s genuine, all of these deeper levels of you live and shine in your job.

What shines of the surface level of you in your job is that you are there for all of these deeper levels of you. In your job, the surface level of you is in a love-flow of givenness: not givenness to the job but givenness to everything that you’ve awakened to while you do your job. If you look to the deeper levels of you for what job to do, all of these deeper levels of you would look at you and, in a sense, they would all be saying that it makes no difference what you do. It doesn’t matter what job you have. It doesn’t matter what career you have. It doesn’t matter how much money you make. It doesn’t matter whether you like your job or not. All that matters is: have a job and do your job. Do it given to what’s deeper.

Q: I don’t know if this is my life.

John: It’s not your life. You’re drawn to this being your life just as long as it doesn’t cost you too much. You’re drawn to this being your life as long as you can also, on the surface, have the job you like, be comfortable and have everything else that you like. But that can shift. You can be a flow of givenness to this deeper life while you’re comfortable and uncomfortable, so that it doesn’t make a difference to you anymore. You could have a job that you don’t like, or you can have a job that you really like. Either way, you are equally given to this deeper life within, while you do your job.

It’s a simple life. It’s a life of givenness. It isn’t a life of getting and having. It isn’t a life of keeping. It isn’t a life of personal ownership. It’s a life flow of givenness.  

 

 

Living Past-Life Free

Q: I have been deeply trapped in a vicious circle my whole life. For thirty-five years I was addicted to heroin and cocaine. Although the drugs have stopped, the addiction has continued. It was covering up a deep grief and sadness coming from my last life when I apparently lost a child, and which I know from Vipassana I could not overcome.

John: What do you mean that you have apparently lost a child?

Q: I have seen clearly, in talking with my  teacher, that I became addicted in my last life because I could not overcome that shock.

John: What shock?

Q: Losing a child, as a mother, in my last life. I became addicted in this last life, and this addiction, the grief and the sadness came with me into this life. For as long as I remember I always felt that I had a twin which my mother lost.

John: Don’t believe what you don’t directly know the truth of.  It doesn’t matter what anyone tells you. Don’t believe what someone tells you just because it sounds interesting or just because it fits something. If you don’t directly know the truth of it, don’t believe it.  

Q: But I wasn’t told. I experienced it in Vipassana, and my experience was so extreme I went to talk with the teacher and he said: “Well, obviously it’s not from this life so it must belong to your last life.” 

John: That’s a deduction. Don’t deduce the truth of anything. It’s important, because what you deduce of the truth, you put together in your psyche and it holds. If it’s deduced, it’s fabricated.  

Q: Well, for the first time I feel that this addiction and the underlying sadness has gone, but I’ve been tricked so many times in my life by my mind telling stories about being healed. I just want to check with you if it’s really happened this time, or if there is still any residue left which needs to be looked at and transcended.

John: The residuals are all there and they don’t need to be looked at; they don’t need to be sorted through. As they come up, don’t engage them, don’t address them. Engage no process with them. Give it no thought: just quietly open and soften in your heart in the midst of what comes up. It isn’t about what comes up; it’s all about what you are being in the midst of anything that comes up.

What comes up in your experience forms an internal environment. That environment doesn’t matter much. What matters is what you are being in it. What matters everything, what matters first, is that you are opening and softening within the quietude of your heart in the midst of any internal environment, any outside environment, without needing to work on any of it. Your real beingness accomplishes, in your self, what your self is incapable of.   

Whatever you experienced in your meditation, as powerful as it was, believe the part in it that you directly knew the truth of. Give your experience no interpretation; give it no story.  If you give it interpretation and a story, you empower a false covering on it. Whatever was real and true in that experience remains in you, and on its own continues to reverberate as long as you’re not putting something to it. Whatever you put to it, put on it, whatever you conclude and form around it will also continue to reverberate, and then you’ll have a mix of the two: the real and the false.

When you are deeply gentled and quieted in your heart, there you are past-life free – whether past lives exist or not. Deeply gentled and quieted in your heart, right there, you are yester-life free, yester-year free, yester-day free. There is no past of any kind that is able to hold into openness, making profound openness your key into you.

Authenticity of being circumvents every holding, every form, every process. With authenticity of being, within, available in your heart, you really are what you really are. There’s nothing else required. Add anything to that and you engage a process: difficulty.  

Q: My God! (crying) Thank you.

 

How Can I Connect With My Family?

Q: My question is about family. How can we be with family in our hearts when we feel very different from them?

John: When you’re in your heart, you’ll see in the others what isn’t different. Your whole sense of meaning in being together will be based on what isn’t different, enabling the differences to have a brightness of color without a sense of polarity. When you’re in your heart toward the others, their differences – how their personalities and selves are different from yours – become dear to you, enabling your love for them to not be based on what they are being to you and how they’re behaving.

As you live from your heart in the midst of family, unconditionally, what you’ll develop toward the others, regardless of how they behave and what they do, is heart understanding. You’ll learn to see from a deeper place and you’ll not easily be taking things personally anymore. In that way, the deeper the level that you’re coming from within, the more you infuse family with meaning. There’s no performance in that. You won’t be performance-oriented. Instead of performing or working for love or acceptance, you quietly receive it wherever it is. You’re not dependent on it for you to be what you really are, and to move that way toward the other.

No one else in your family needs to come from their heart – just you. As soon as you need someone else to be in their heart, that means that you’ll be in your heart as soon as they are.

 

Mothering From Your Unadorned Heart

Q: I would like to deepen the connection between me and my child, and be more aware in it. Can you help me to do that?

John: Be really seen. Reveal your heart and give your heart without embellishment, so that when you’re giving your heart, your heart given is unadorned. Then your child is fully meeting you. Don’t push your way or have your own way. Don’t use any power to have what is personal for you at your child’s expense, and at the same time be kindly strong with what you are clear about.

All of this draws your child into being seen, being heard and not needing to use any power to do so, inviting your child into a strength of clarity. With a richness of heart, make it really easy for your child to never need to lie. Value a quiet love, enabling your child to read you deeply, then there’s room for supportive excitement. When you’re agitated in any way, like being slow to speak, and when you’ve fallen short in any way, like being quick to speak. If you are happy in all of this, your child will be deeply safe and free to be seen in everything.

Don’t try to correct your child or give instruction if, at the same time, you are not being seen. If you are being seen, your child will love learning from you. In the midst of your availability, share your realizations and your child will come into the same. If you are always giving your heart while being seen – giving your heart in a quieted way without embellishment, your heart being given unadorned – your child will know that it doesn’t have to do anything for love. Your child will grow up not being performance-oriented.  

Don’t be overly motherly and your child will have no need of being childish.