Transcripts From Location: Poleg Beach

Feeling & Emotion

Changing Your Eating Habits: A New Relationship To Food

Q: I have issues with my weight and my body. It seems like there’s a program that says when I wake in the morning “wow, you ate a lot yesterday” or things like that. I see it and I do nothing, but what I want to know is why is it still an issue?

John: Does the feedback of your body to you point to your relationship, in your body, in your self, to food? If it does, then you can come back into alignment in your relationship to food by letting it be reduced to having to do with you sustaining your body, so that your relationship with food isn’t to do with your self...

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Consciousness & Awareness

Beyond Worry And Fear: At Home In A Bombing Zone

Q: I have a hard time relaxing. Lately, we’ve been living in a combat zone near the Gaza strip and we have a lot of bombing days. Recently there was bombing in the night, with rockets falling from both sides. That night I tried to relax and also asked for your help. After some hours I suddenly felt clarity, as if I was leaving my body. I could see it from above. I could see the neighbourhood and the fighting from both sides. When bombing begins I’m usually so involved in knowing where to run, calculating where bombs will fall, how much time I have, where the nearest shelter is … but something changed last time…

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Pain & Suffering

On Flashbacks And The Healing Of Trauma

Q: Some months ago I made a really brave decision and ever since then I’ve felt happy and really powerful. My heart is open most of the time. I feel love and can help a lot of people, but then there is a huge flashback into my childhood and a wave of pain – a lot of pain. I know it’s not the real me and I open to be with it, but I forget everything. Why does it still come? Will it ever go away?

John: When you have a flashback, the pain is the holding that’s there from your past...

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Feeling & Emotion

What Is Genuine Self-Acceptance?

Q: If love is the answer, we are here to love and that’s what gives us pleasure …

John: Whoops! You were driving along and then you just hit the ditch. Love is the answer, but it isn’t to give you pleasure. It isn’t to make you feel good; it isn’t to give you a nice life, a good life. 

Love is the answer because there isn’t really anything else. As soon as you make love of use, that’s not love...

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Relationship

Finding Real Togetherness In Relationship

Q: I’ve been in relationship for almost twenty years, and in all these years of living next to each other we don’t have togetherness; we can’t connect and communicate. It’s as if we speak different languages. Something in me says this part of my life is over, but I also wonder if I’m creating the problem and don’t give him a chance to understand me.

John: He doesn’t need to understand you. To be in a real relationship the two of you only need to be together...

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Spirituality

Do I Need A Spiritual Teacher?

Q: My question is about the role of a spiritual teacher in spiritual development. I’ve been studying with a teacher for a few years and benefiting from the practice and study of Tibetan Buddhism. Then there was a breakup of the sangha because of the misconduct of the teacher, and I lost motivation. Now I’m looking for new hope and maybe a new path. Do you think it’s important to have a teacher for spiritual development?

John: Don’t neglect the baby just because the parent has disappointed you...

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Parenting

A Deeper Level Of Parenting: Awakening Your Child’s Interior

Q: I have a question about my eleven-year-old son. He has some difficulties in school. It seems that regular school is not right for him and I’m looking at others. How do you see the importance of the school years? Am I doing more than I should, or not enough?

John: The deeper the level of your parenting, the less it makes any difference what school your child goes to.

Q: But he is only there for half a day and he suffers there!..

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Work

What’s The Right Job For Me?

Q: My question is about a job. I don’t know what kind of job is right for me and I’m always wondering what it is I want for my life: where to go, what I need.

John: The deeper levels of you are not able to even relate to a job. The deeper levels of you do not need a job.

Q: They need money!

John: The deeper levels of you do not need any money. The deeper levels of you don’t need shelter, don’t need food, don’t need water, don’t even need physical life...

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Sexuality

What You Know Integrates Your Sexual Appetites

Q: I want to ask something about sexuality. You talked about ‘need and want’ and it is a bit confusing. I’m in a relationship, and I don’t know if I have want, but I feel for it more than my partner. He seems not to naturally like it. In the beginning I was pushing it to happen and then it happened when I’m pushing it, but not all the time. I feel it in my body, the wanting.

John: You’re a little bit upside down in the sense that your sexuality belongs to your self, to what you want and need, whereas the truth of your sexuality is that it doesn’t belong to your self…

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