Transcripts From Location: Poleg Beach

Parenting

Pregnancy And Parenting: Making Your Heart As A Womb

Q: I’m trying to get pregnant and for a few years I’ve been having fertility treatments. It’s not happening, and I wonder how to deal with that. It feels like it’s taken everything from me.

John: It’s taken everything from you because you’re making the prospect of being pregnant mean too much. You’re giving it meaning that it doesn’t have. You’re taking meaning from everything else and giving it to the possibility, the wish, the need and the want of becoming pregnant. So working on becoming pregnant is depleting your self...

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Relationship

One Touch Of Dearness: The Change Of Your Nervous System

Q: The tenderness and beauty that I know within is so easy to be in when I’m alone, and with some people it is easy. With others it’s much more difficult!

John: That’s where it matters more.

Q: There are a couple of people in my life that are pushing my buttons in a way that I have no control over, and I need your help.

John: The buttons that they push are the buttons that you don’t need...

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Consciousness & Awareness

The Marriage Of The Drop And the Ocean

Q: I feel such openness in every cell of my body. Why am I not falling like a drop into the ocean?

John: Because the drop has investments not in the ocean. The drop has things that matter to it that are not in the ocean.

When as the drop you enter the ocean, everything that was yours as the drop will belong to the ocean. When as the drop you go into the ocean, you and all that’s yours is given into the ocean. ..

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Relationship

Free Of Control: Being Together In Love

Q: I want to talk to you about control. I really know I need to let go of control in my life, in particular my controlling of other people. I’m always telling my partner what to do, and not believing he’s doing his best.

John: That’s because you let your nervous system master you. You let your nervous system rule instead of you letting your gentled and quieted heart rule. 

Practically, this is like you, in the circumstances of your relationship and your life, quietly enjoying that you no longer need to be in control; you, quietly being nurtured in no longer needing control. ..

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Feeling & Emotion

Changing Your Eating Habits: A New Relationship To Food

Q: I have issues with my weight and my body. It seems like there’s a program that says when I wake in the morning “wow, you ate a lot yesterday” or things like that. I see it and I do nothing, but what I want to know is why is it still an issue?

John: Does the feedback of your body to you point to your relationship, in your body, in your self, to food? If it does, then you can come back into alignment in your relationship to food by letting it be reduced to having to do with you sustaining your body, so that your relationship with food isn’t to do with your self...

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Consciousness & Awareness

Beyond Worry And Fear: At Home In A Bombing Zone

Q: I have a hard time relaxing. Lately, we’ve been living in a combat zone near the Gaza strip and we have a lot of bombing days. Recently there was bombing in the night, with rockets falling from both sides. That night I tried to relax and also asked for your help. After some hours I suddenly felt clarity, as if I was leaving my body. I could see it from above. I could see the neighbourhood and the fighting from both sides. When bombing begins I’m usually so involved in knowing where to run, calculating where bombs will fall, how much time I have, where the nearest shelter is … but something changed last time…

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Pain & Suffering

On Flashbacks And The Healing Of Trauma

Q: Some months ago I made a really brave decision and ever since then I’ve felt happy and really powerful. My heart is open most of the time. I feel love and can help a lot of people, but then there is a huge flashback into my childhood and a wave of pain – a lot of pain. I know it’s not the real me and I open to be with it, but I forget everything. Why does it still come? Will it ever go away?

John: When you have a flashback, the pain is the holding that’s there from your past...

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Feeling & Emotion

What Is Genuine Self-Acceptance?

Q: If love is the answer, we are here to love and that’s what gives us pleasure …

John: Whoops! You were driving along and then you just hit the ditch. Love is the answer, but it isn’t to give you pleasure. It isn’t to make you feel good; it isn’t to give you a nice life, a good life. 

Love is the answer because there isn’t really anything else. As soon as you make love of use, that’s not love...

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Relationship

Finding Real Togetherness In Relationship

Q: I’ve been in relationship for almost twenty years, and in all these years of living next to each other we don’t have togetherness; we can’t connect and communicate. It’s as if we speak different languages. Something in me says this part of my life is over, but I also wonder if I’m creating the problem and don’t give him a chance to understand me.

John: He doesn’t need to understand you. To be in a real relationship the two of you only need to be together...

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Spirituality

Do I Need A Spiritual Teacher?

Q: My question is about the role of a spiritual teacher in spiritual development. I’ve been studying with a teacher for a few years and benefiting from the practice and study of Tibetan Buddhism. Then there was a breakup of the sangha because of the misconduct of the teacher, and I lost motivation. Now I’m looking for new hope and maybe a new path. Do you think it’s important to have a teacher for spiritual development?

John: Don’t neglect the baby just because the parent has disappointed you...

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