In the Passageway to a Future Self

Q: I’d like to talk about flow that is coming out of my head. Am I correct when I say that ability is coming from there?

John: (Nods)

Q: I also told you, a few years ago, that I had these abilities and you said to me ‘it’s too much for you. You said it differently, but basically ‘just keep your hands off,’ and so now I’m asking you, ‘am I safe?’

John: Yes

Q: I know new abilities are there, but I don’t know what they are, or how to take care of that, how to be with that?

John: Be in it when it is there and where it is.

Q: You said to me to not not to do anything with it, but just to be aware of that movement, then I’ll be with it. Right?

John: You know what you’re talking about, so it doesn’t matter much how you say it. You’re now in what opened in you years ago.

Q: Because I’m more home?

John: (Nods)

Q: Is there anything that you see that I can still take better care of?

John: Apprehend all that apprehends you.

Q: So in recognizing what’s grows, it has possibility to grow?

John: As you realize newness and newness plugs into you, you plug-in directly to what you’re knowing. Your thinking and your self aren’t big enough for what you’re plugging into. As you plug into what you’re realizing and what you know, you’re going to be moving past your normal thinking. You won’t be relating to your self, which is going to change your self.

Q: Especially my brain, right? My brain needs to be a little bit different, I think.

John: If you’re going to think at all of your self in this, let it not be of your present self but of your future self. In what you’re opening to, your future self is in sight. It is a little bit in view. If you relate to your present self, you can’t see it. While you are in what’s opening in you, think of your future self and you can see it, and that lets your present self be behind you. There’s a passageway between your present self and your future self. Be in that passageway. Live in that passageway.

Q: Is this the passageway?

John: Yes

Q: It’s a little bit like falling into the future.

John: It’s a different level of space and time. It isn’t space and time as you know it in your self. The passageway is a configuration of your deeper levels, with you moving as that configuration. You’re not just in it; you’re moving as it.

Quieted in your Heart in the Midst of the Fire of your Sexuality

Q: Something that’s been coming up for me recently is my connection with women, and how there’s a fire in some of the connections. I know that fire can be good, but just not letting it overtake me.

John: If you reference your self in it, it will overtake your self. Be quieted in your heart in the midst of that fire, without directing the fire anywhere in your self, without making the fire less or without having any apology for the fire, and it will in time connect directly to your being because of what you’re connecting to in your heart. When you are in it without making reference to your self in it, it purifies your self. It aligns your self to what you’re being in your heart. It aligns your self to your being. Be completely in the energy without you being about that energy. Whatever that energy does in your self, you’re not about that. That makes it safe with you. That makes others safe with you.

Because of the Awareness in the Darkness

Q: I wanted to talk to you about darkness. I’m curious if darkness is included in all of this or if it just lives in the self. We talk about ancient and it feels like darkness is also ancient. Is it something that needs to be moved away from, or it’s included or I should include it?

John: Include the darkness from that within you which has nothing to do with the darkness.

Q: And does the light have more value than darkness, or is it equal and they both live here?

John: They are not, in the least, equal. Darkness on its own isn’t able to be.

Q: So, darkness wouldn’t be darkness without the presence of light. Is that what you mean?

John: Darkness has no existence without awareness being separate from what it knows.

Q: So there’s no power there.

John: Yes.

Q: I would just give it power.

John: (Nods)

Q: So, any kind of fascination is unnecessary.

John: Any fascination with darkness is you buying into the perceived promise that is in darkness, a promise of power. There is power in darkness, but it isn’t an intrinsic power. It is separation power, power available to you without you having to be one with what you know; illicit power which allures only that which is separate from what it knows.

Q: So, once you said to me that pain takes me deeper than love does. Is that connected to this? Or do I use that?

John: Darkness is welcome in oneness, not because of what darkness is, but because there is separate awareness within the darkness. The darkness is welcome because of the awareness that is in it. Awareness, moving by way of darkness, brought into oneness is brought into what it knows and there it’s able to absolutely rest.

Q: So it is a pathway in? All my life, I’ve just been on this kind of intense journey of purifying darkness, and last week I had a brief, unusual encounter with my father that reminded me how the dark lives in me. So that’s kind of why I’m talking about it with you.

John: Darkness isn’t always going to be.

Q: Are you saying that eventually the darkness will be no longer?

John: In time, beyond time as you know it, yes.

Q: Is it more important to be with that than anything else?

John: Putting you in response to all there really is: what you know, which is what produces light.

Love is Unaccomplished

Q: It’s not easy for me to be here, even though I have a deeper knowing to be here. I see the amazing effect that it has on my connection with my wife. I see what you do, direct and indirect, and still for me it’s totally not about you. You’re just sitting in front of the portal. My goal is to walk innocent as a baby, as I am, in the vast,  but what’s the point for me to be here right now?

John: Because you knew.

Q: I know you many years. What’s going on here John? What’s the point?

John: Like you said, it’s about what I’m doing directly and indirectly, of which some of the effects you’ve already realized.

Q: You once said that most of what you know and see you will take to the grave. It cracked me to hear that. It was painful. You said it’s not because it’s only irrelevant. It’s also because we’re not ready to hear it, and the pain came from that, feeling untrustworthy by you as an individual and also as a group here, together as one. For me it was like a breach of contract, you telling me I come to you like this (opens palm). It broke my heart.

John: I give everything that reaches. Whatever I give that doesn’t reach, distracts. That’s not a breach; that’s a bridge.

Q: John, I recognize in you that I have never seen such integration between self and being. Is it something that you can share? I know…I don’t know how to say it. I see so much pain in this room, in the eyes.

John: Pain is not enduring. The littlest bit that you know surpasses all, live in. It’s what forms your bond with everything and everyone. Pain refers to your self, while love refers to your heart.

Q: I never hear you speaking about freedom. Does freedom exist?

John: If you’re free of it, yes. All of your self. You being free of your self isn’t it. You, coming from your being in the midst of the self you have, is it. That is a freedom from your self that is of a different kind than how you relate to freedom in your self. You don’t need to be free of your self. That gives undo importance to your self. For you to enter your own being, you love.

Q: So freedom does not exist? Only love exists?

John: At the core, yes.

Q: Can you tell me what love is?

John: Openness of heart without an object, softness of heart without a reason. Put love in pain and it thrives. Put love in a corrupted past and it thrives. Love won’t reference what it is put in. Love is free of everything, enabling it to be in everything.

Q: Is any action needed to perceive love?

John: If openness and softness is an action, yes. Otherwise, no.

Q: So who is the one who is open and soft?

John: You are not a ‘who’.

Q: Again?

John: At your very core, you are meaning, and when that moves, you are love.

Q: When meaning moves, the core is love?

John: When meaning moves, it’s love.

Q: What do you mean by saying ‘meaning’?

John: The reason that you’re able to relate to the meaning of something on any level is because you are meaning. You don’t need to acquire meaning for you to be meaning.

Q: How can the meaning move?

John: As soon as it knows. The beingness of what meaning knows is love.

Q: How does ‘the I’ fit into that?

John: Essence of the ‘I’ is meaning aware. Essence of the ‘me’ is meaning moving. The ‘me’ is dependent on the ‘I’. The ‘I’ isn’t dependent on the ‘me’.

Q: This is the integration?

John: Integration is in reference to meaning having a self, and being meaning in all of it. A meaning-filled self that moves by love is the integration of the self. There isn’t anything that can hinder that.

Q: So the integration is natural movement?

John: Yes.

Q: So, if integration is a natural movement, no reason for me to interfere for it to happen. Only stay open and soft?

John: Openness and softness is natural to your heart.

Q: So, this does not need any interference.

John: That’s right.

Q: So my tendency to interfere, it comes from fear?

John: It comes from you not being what you really are. It comes from you pursuing meaning instead of being meaning.

Q: So, should I just stop?

John: At the core, stopping is too much.

Q: So, not even stop.

John: At the core, yes. When the scale of doing is at zero concerning being, you’re home. Doing to be has no real existence. When you are not doing to be, you are love. Love is unaccomplished.

Innocence Remains in Compression

Q: As I study counselling and read various theories on child development, I almost see that nature hardwires the bodymind for survival and it seems that what we really are is so opposite, that from the very beginning, nature is encouraging us to distort, and I wonder why.

John: It encourages distortion when you leave your heart. It encourages what you know in your heart when you stay in your heart.

Q: So all these theories and this particular way of seeing things, does that just come from people not seeing the whole picture?

John: Yes.

Q: That’s a relief.

John: If a child is born into an unfortunate environment for the development of a self, that compression translates directly into the awareness within the self. When awareness remains at home within the compression, awareness evolves. If it remains in its innocence in the midst of that kind of compression, the awareness that is present in that child will evolve in a most uncommon way. It can thrive in its evolution, even in horrifying circumstances. That real compression on the self cannot separate awareness from what it knows and from what it really is.

Q: It doesn’t happen very often though, does it, that it doesn’t distort?

John: If it doesn’t distort, it can come into its own evolution in a short period of time. The greater the compression, the less time it takes.

Q: So I wonder what would a true kind of counsellor look like?

John: From any counsellor who has first returned to innocence it won’t require any study, but getting back to your studying and your prospective career, your work, it doesn’t really matter much what you do.

Q: It’s how you’re being with the people, isn’t it? Being unconditional.

John: Even more basic than that, it’s how you are being with what you know. It is only from within that that everything else that does matter can beautifully come into place.