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John de Ruiter Transcripts

Mined from our archive of more than two decades of teachings, JdR Gems is a sparkling collection of conversations with John, mostly not published before and much too good to miss. They range from tiny tips for everyday life to revealing our deepest destiny, and come from recordings made anywhere John has met with us, including international meetings, livestreams, camping trips, social gatherings and the Jewel Café.

Two young people put their questions to John at an open mic:

Q1: What is fear?

John: When you focus on something that’s not nurturing and real inside, then you separate from what’s nurturing and real. As soon as you’re separate from what’s nurturing and real, you’ll fear because the nurture and the real isn’t there, so what you’re left with is lack that’s represented in your emotions.

When you have fear that means that you’ve created some distance from what’s nurtureful inside, such as a restedness, a really quiet okayness, a tenderness. Go away from tenderness inside and you’ll fear. Inside of the tenderness there is no fear. 

Q2: How do I handle my anger?

John: In one way the feeling of anger is really good because it quickly tells you that you’re believing something that’s not true. So as soon as you feel angry, let go of everything that you’re thinking until your heart becomes open and settled again. As soon as your heart is opened and settled again, you’re really there. While you’re angry your heart is closed and hard, and you’re no longer really there in your heart. 

When you’re angry, you’re caught in something that isn’t real. As soon as you’re angry, let go of what you’re thinking and what you’re feeling. As soon as you do, your heart opens again. When your heart is open, instead of being upset, you’ll love.

When you’re angry, what that really means is that you’ve tricked your self.  You’ve tricked your self into believing something that isn’t true and that isn’t real. 

Latest Transcript

Young People Speak With John: On Fear And Anger

April 14, 2023

Two young people put their questions to John at an open mic: Q1: What is fear? John: When you focus on something that’s not nurturing and real inside, then you separate from what’s nurturing and real. As soon as you’re separate from what’s nurturing and real, you’ll fear because the nurture and the real isn’t there, so what you’re...

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Q: I get carried away by narratives, especially in a conversation. It compels me to follow the word content even though the being points in a different direction. I get into a dissonance that I can’t stand, so I have to either close down in the situation or walk
Q: I feel so happy! There’s a child growing inside of me. Can you speak about becoming a mother, a good mother, and being this as much as possible? Thank you. John: Instead of you being mother, which you don’t really know how to do, receive this child for
Q: John, are we all one? John: Yes. But that’s very different from all of us really being there. On a deeper level within, yes, we are all one but if we live being separate from what our being is, we will all be separate: separate from our beings,
Q: I have a longing for wholeness and integration, and an awareness of a lot of suffering and chaos caused by self-avoidance. I know there’s massive anger sitting in my gut. How can it be integrated into my being, and how can that become stable in the midst of
Q: My question is about speech because I feel it carries a lot of responsibility. I find what you say both clear and impeccable – a source of inspiration. Words can carry so much wisdom and love but they can also hurt. I sometimes notice that energy leaks through
Q: Does our genetic conditioning strongly influence our life and behaviour? Can you say more about it? John: Where you’re not in your heart, absolutely. Where you are unconditionally in your heart, at any personal expense, no. Q: Is openness of heart easier or harder depending on what genetics

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