Transcripts on Parenting

Israel

Raising Your Child Without Raising Your Voice

Q: When it comes to educating my child, I feel that I’m not being heard unless I raise my voice.

John: If you need to raise your voice to be heard, that tells you that when you speak she doesn’t believe you.

Q: She doesn’t!

John: Raising your voice doesn’t make her believe you.

Q: No, but it makes her feel fear, and then she would do what I want because she doesn’t want me to shout at her again…

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Canada

Your Baby Needs Your Relationship

Q: We’re having a baby. I really feel the baby is going to be our greatest teacher.

John: Having a baby will strengthen whatever orientation you presently have.

Q: Will it? It won’t be the opposite?

John: If you are giving heed to the specialness of what’s there, and you’re taking that specialness to a deeper level than just having a wonderful experience in your self, then you can shift your orientation.

Q: In a not so good way you mean?..

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Lage Vuursche

Leading A Child Into The World Within

Q: I have a question about raising children and enjoying them in the way you’ve been describing. I have two daughters.

John: How old are they?

Q: Five and nine. I enjoyed the first child from the beginning, and it has been easy. The second is very different. From the moment she started talking, she can’t stop!

John: “Very different” in that her self is not like your self?

Q: Yes! For all three of us it is a challenge to have someone in the family who, from waking up in the morning until going to sleep, is talking…

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Lage Vuursche

Teaching Children How To Handle Power

Q: I think my young son is testing boundaries, and he sometimes quite intentionally does things we’ve asked him not to do. He seems to want our reaction or response.

John: He wants to play with power, so you need to play back to him with your power.

Q: How do I do that?

John: By being in your power and really moving it, while carefully reading your child. If you use too much, you’re going to overwhelm him. If you use too little, you mistakenly empower him...

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Canada

A Deeper Level Of Mother – A Real And Unusual Love

Q: I want to know how best to support my son in what he’s going through both physically and emotionally while I’m so far away. We’ve had some lovely conversations on the phone, but afterwards I felt he was missing me and it was heart-breaking.

John: Your deeper womanness has more real reach than the motherly responses that you’re accustomed to. Your motherly response is to rush in. Your response from within your deeper womanness doesn’t rush in. It reaches directly and finds him, but not where he’s looking from, which directs his heart awareness to where it belongs...

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Israel

Pregnancy And Parenting: Making Your Heart As A Womb

Q: I’m trying to get pregnant and for a few years I’ve been having fertility treatments. It’s not happening, and I wonder how to deal with that. It feels like it’s taken everything from me.

John: It’s taken everything from you because you’re making the prospect of being pregnant mean too much. You’re giving it meaning that it doesn’t have. You’re taking meaning from everything else and giving it to the possibility, the wish, the need and the want of becoming pregnant. So working on becoming pregnant is depleting your self...

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San Francisco

What Is Real Parenting?

Q: Earlier this year I had a vision of having a wife and two children in about ten years’ time. Now, my girlfriend and I are four months into her pregnancy – a little earlier than expected – and it’s pushing our evolution, for sure! You’ve been talking about the innocence of children, so I wonder what you would say about approaching parenting, and about receiving from children in that process.

John: Amazingly, there are two beings in her body, and despite everything else that’s occurring, they’re communing...

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San Francisco

How Can I Be A Real Mother To My Baby?

Q: Since my baby was conceived I’ve seen how grounded my self is in certain beliefs. I’ve moved into what opening and softening really is in connection to the baby, and it’s something very different. What does it truly mean to be a mother in relation to the beingness of the baby?

John: Being a mother is a role of yours, and the real relationship isn’t first that of a mother and a baby, or a mother and a child. The real relationship is directly within the bond that’s there: how the two of you directly connect as beings.  ..

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Canada

The Healing Power Of Tenderness

Q: My daughter is seventeen years old and I’m wondering what I can do for the best to heal the ways she may have been hurt by us whilst growing up. How can we parents become truly one with our children for everyone’s sake?

John: By letting tenderness replace worry, letting tenderness replace concern. Your concern doesn’t touch her heart; your tenderness does. Your concern separates you from her. Your concern for her is truly more about you than her, whereas your tenderness for her is genuinely for her...

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Denmark

Nurturing Your Child’s Goldenness

Q: My question is to do with my daughter. Sometimes I think I’m too judgmental and don’t accept her personality. I’m always thinking about what others think of her, wanting her to be a certain way. It’s hard for me to accept that she has her own way and personality. I love her very much but don’t know how to deal with my feelings – or her, sometimes.

John: Everything that you feel about her that is nurturing, every feeling you have for her that touches your heart, say to her without adding anything else to it, so when you start to speak, that’s not a reason for you to say everything else that you think and feel...

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