How Can I Connect With My Family?

WHEN: November 19, 2016 Evening Open Mic

Q: My question is about family. How can we be with family in our hearts when we feel very different from them?

John: When you’re in your heart, you’ll see in the others what isn’t different. Your whole sense of meaning in being together will be based on what isn’t different, enabling the differences to have a brightness of color without a sense of polarity. When you’re in your heart toward the others, their differences – how their personalities and selves are different from yours – become dear to you, enabling your love for them to not be based on what they are being to you and how they’re behaving.

As you live from your heart in the midst of family, unconditionally, what you’ll develop toward the others, regardless of how they behave and what they do, is heart understanding. You’ll learn to see from a deeper place and you’ll not easily be taking things personally anymore. In that way, the deeper the level that you’re coming from within, the more you infuse family with meaning. There’s no performance in that. You won’t be performance-oriented. Instead of performing or working for love or acceptance, you quietly receive it wherever it is. You’re not dependent on it for you to be what you really are, and to move that way toward the other.

No one else in your family needs to come from their heart – just you. As soon as you need someone else to be in their heart, that means that you’ll be in your heart as soon as they are.

 

Other Popular Talks

Mothering From Your Unadorned Heart

Q: I would like to deepen the connection between me and my child, and be more aware in it. Can you help me to do that?

John: Be really seen. Reveal your heart and give your heart without embellishment, so that when you’re giving your heart, your heart given is unadorned. Then your child is fully meeting you. Don’t push your way or have your own way. Don’t use any power to have what is personal for you at your child’s expense, and at the same time be kindly strong with what you are clear about...

Read More »

On Primal Fear, Entities And The Price of Real Freedom

Q: In recent weeks I’ve felt very strong survival issues and my survival seems more important than anything else. I feel a very deep, primal fear.

John: Have no issue with it. It’s clear: you are not going to survive. You’re going to die, so until then live from deeply within.

Q: I’ve twice felt I was getting into a story about it. Both times fear of a death so total came super-strongly, and I managed to escape from it.

John: If it is real and true, it’s good and it’s coming – now or later...

Read More »

Physical Pain: What Really Helps?

Q: I’ve had pain in both legs for a year, and in one of my feet every day. I’d like to know what’s happening with my legs.

John: First, you don’t need to know what’s going on with the pain in your legs for you to be at home in your heart. If that’s not clear and settled for you, you will leave your heart because of the pain that’s in your legs. You’ll leave your heart in an effort to address your situation. You’ll leave your heart for pain relief...

Read More »