Transcripts on Relationship

Canada

A Life-Change For Your Marriage: Loving Your Husband From A Deeper You

Q: I feel as if I’m in the biggest crisis of my life. I’ve been married for twenty years, and thirty years ago I was in love with a man twenty years older than me. He was married, with children. A few years ago he called me and our love is still there. My husband knows about him. It’s so hard to choose between these two men. I need your help! And recently the word “stay” has been coming to me.

John: Stay in your relationship with your husband...

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Bad Meinberg

A Simple Forgiveness Exercise For You

Q: My daughter is the person I love most on the planet. I deeply and dearly love her and she me, but she took a partner and the moment I saw him, I saw that he has no substance. Nothing. We’ve tried to get along but I can no longer be in the same room with him. When I visit, I ask that he is not there. It’s all starting to make me ill. Even my grand-children are aware of it now and ask us to be nice to each other…

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Germany

Healing Your Broken Heart

Q: Hi, John. This is the first time I’ve met you. I had a very short relationship about one and a half years ago and it’s still very painful. I can’t understand why I can’t let it go. How can I feel that love, happiness and sense of being complete within myself, and not be looking to find it outside? 

John: By being gentled and quieted in your heart in the midst of such pain; by having need of nothing in the midst of such pain...

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Israel

Finding Real Togetherness In Relationship

Q: I’ve been in relationship for almost twenty years, and in all these years of living next to each other we don’t have togetherness; we can’t connect and communicate. It’s as if we speak different languages. Something in me says this part of my life is over, but I also wonder if I’m creating the problem and don’t give him a chance to understand me.

John: He doesn’t need to understand you. To be in a real relationship the two of you only need to be together...

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Canada

Marriage And The Soup Bone

Q: We’d like to get married soon. Can you speak to us about marriage? 

John: Marriage is like a soup bone. 

Q: Is like a what?

John: A soup bone. When you’re completely still in it and not making it about your self, you get thoroughly cooked. Every little thing comes out to be cooked. 

If you’re not open to have everything within yourself get completely cooked, then marriage won’t work...

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Denmark

Beyond Patterns and Habits: Being Real In Relationship

Q: I’m so grateful to have met you in Rishikesh. I felt some healing had happened when I stopped my practice of self-enquiry, but now I feel as if my self has come back stronger than before!

John: It’s not stronger; you just didn’t realize how strong it was. When you’re busy with a practice, the strength of your self goes into that practice. 

As you profoundly open, that opens you up to experience your self as it actually is – not as you believed it to be and not as you’ve made it to be...

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Denmark

Why Is My Relationship So Difficult?

Q: My relationship with a man is very difficult.  I wonder if he’s the wrong man for me, or the difficulty is because of something in me? Can you help?

John: Any time that you have difficulty, the difficulty is first your self. When you experience difficulty it’s because you experience a lack, an actual lack that is there in your self in being able to deal with a person or a situation. The tendency when we experience a lack in our selves is that we focus on what looks like the catalyst to that lack, which is something outside of our selves: a circumstance or another person...

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Canada

What Is Real Forgiveness?

Q: I want to talk about forgiveness. We’re often told to forgive this and forgive that, but if we’re really coming from our heart there is no need for forgiveness. 

John: Yes. When you hold a grudge, or when you’re closing and hardening towards someone because of how they’ve treated you, it doesn’t matter how wrongly you’re treated, you’re not right in closing or hardening. So in that way no one has a good or a real reason to close and harden. 

We can close and harden when we’re mistreated, and what we understand in ourselves is that ultimately we need to come to a place of forgiving, forgiving the other...

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Australia

Relationship: Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

Q: I have a burning question about a relationship with a man I’ve been with for some time. I dread being with him, basically. I shut down, and I don’t know if that signifies an ending. When I’m away from him I have space and feel light again. I don’t know if to stay or go, or whether this is some kind of mirror for me.

John: In your self you’re finished with him, and that’s a limiting kind of self. It reveals that you’re in relationship on the terms of your self...

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Canada

How Can I Connect With My Family?

Q: My question is about family. How can we be with family in our hearts when we feel very different from them?

John: When you’re in your heart, you’ll see in the others what isn’t different. Your whole sense of meaning in being together will be based on what isn’t different, enabling the differences to have a brightness of color without a sense of polarity. When you’re in your heart toward the others, their differences – how their personalities and selves are different from yours – become dear to you, enabling your love for them to not be based on what they are being to you and how they’re behaving...

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