Q: I don’t want to stay in my patterned ways of relating, and the best way I know is not to let arguments persist.

John: For arguments to become fewer you would have to learn to argue well. For you to learn to argue well is for you to use everything that you are in support of clarity coming through. In a good argument, no one wins but clarity.

Q: I’ve experienced that. There was no emotion; there was straightness and I was in my feet...

Q: I need to let go of everything to be home, and when I try to hold on to something for my self, then I’m lost.  It’s okay to let go of someone who I’m holding onto because in my self I feel like that’s what I want and need in my heart. They are dear to me but I know in my heart that it’s wrong to hold on. If I try to have my own will and make things happen through my self and for a need in my self, then I’m lost and further from home…

Q: Hi John. I would like to talk with you about your concept about relationships, because I know you are very clear that first it’s a long time to get to know each other, and then marry, and then have sex. To me the last years is total, I would say, opposite, without marriage and almost without relationship. But actually something in me is longing for deep relationship. The question is how I come from this concept to the other?

John: A real relationship is based on the two of you meeting…

Q: I am in this retreat and I’m surrounded by all these beautiful women and I’m wanting, wanting, wanting. Whether I want it to or not, it’s there.

John: You cannot act on it. Just because you want something, that doesn’t mean you have to do something about it. Patterns continue while you are still.

Q: It seems like it’s a narrow space between either acting something out or suppressing it or somehow getting tense inside and being not ok with it…

John: Going underground is you responding to what you know but don’t yet understand. That brings you into what is unseen underneath your self, deeper within than your self, and then growing from there like a seed. Eventually what grows comes up into your self. It isn’t first understood and seen. It is known and relaxed into. At first it is sheltered from your experience. It comes into your experience after it has taken root, making the experience not based on what you’re accustomed to in your self, and it will change your self because you are rooted in and coming from what is deeper…