Q: I have a question about raising children and enjoying them in the way you’ve been describing. I have two daughters.

John: How old are they?

Q: Five and nine. I enjoyed the first child from the beginning, and it has been easy. The second is very different. From the moment she started talking, she can’t stop!

John: “Very different” in that her self is not like your self?

Q: Yes! For all three of us it is a challenge to have someone in the family who, from waking up in the morning until going to sleep, is talking…

Q: I think my young son is testing boundaries, and he sometimes quite intentionally does things we’ve asked him not to do. He seems to want our reaction or response.

John: He wants to play with power, so you need to play back to him with your power.

Q: How do I do that?

John: By being in your power and really moving it, while carefully reading your child. If you use too much, you’re going to overwhelm him. If you use too little, you mistakenly empower him...

Q: How can I best support my daughter through her parents’ splitting-up and through all the changing outer circumstances, like moving house?

John: By enjoying her.

Q: “Enjoying” … do you mean loving?

John: “Loving” can become complicated.

Q: What do you mean by that?

John: If you enjoy her, you will love her. If you “love” her you might be putting something on to her.

Q: A bit too much?

John: Love is not too much...

Q: I hope to get more ability and clarity. I saw that I took my self to heart for a long time and I feel embarrassing and awkward.

John: Instead of feeling embarrassed and awkward in your self, with a little shift you can be sweetly embarrassed and sweetly awkward. That puts you in your heart while you’re in your self. When you feel deflated in your self, that comes from an ego reference that you’ve developed, and with just a little shift you can dislodge that…