Why Does Pleasure Make Me Feel Guilty?

WHEN: February 12, 2002 Afternoon Meeting

“A delicately beautiful talk from the archive on the essence of pleasure.” – JdR Gems Editor

Q: My question is about pleasure, pain and guilt. I’ve recently noticed that I’m experiencing a lot more pleasure running through my body but I seem to believe it’s sinful. I feel guilty and then create physical pain in my body. For example, making love can feel wonderful and fulfilling, but the next day I won’t be able to see properly or I’ll have physical pain. It’s the same if I enjoy dancing. I’d love more understanding around this.

John: For pleasure to become stable requires a stable opening of the heart. When the heart is not stabilized in being open then it can experience pleasure, but after experiencing pleasure you will always want to close. Let your heart remain open – not just during pleasure, but also after. Let the heart glow after pleasure. Letting such a glow be there takes apart the patterns that would have you closing just because there was pleasure.

The glow in the heart after pleasure doesn’t come from the enjoyment of pleasure. It comes from the enjoyment of the goodness of pleasure. It’s the enjoyment of goodness that makes the heart glow. When you’re experiencing pleasure, let your awareness go to the knowing of the goodness in it and remain in the knowing of that goodness even after the pleasure is gone. If you’re not remaining in the knowing of the goodness that’s in it, then after the pleasure is gone you’ll close. When you’re remaining in the knowing of the goodness that was there, that lets your heart not only remain open but it makes it glow; being in touch with the essence of pleasure, not just having pleasure because then you’re missing what pleasure is for.

The essence of pleasure is goodness. If you’re not being in touch with the goodness of the essence of pleasure, you’ll feel guilty in having pleasure. Love the goodness of it and you’ll remain open to pleasure. If you’re not in touch with the goodness of it, it will be easy for you to pursue pleasure and then, when you have it, closing it down: running after and running away from. When you’re in touch with the goodness that is in pleasure, and you’re abiding in such goodness, you won’t be pursuing pleasure or running away from it afterwards.

Pleasure isn’t about the experience of it. Pleasure is about your knowing of the goodness in it. The goodness in it isn’t an experience. It’s a knowing within the experience, you being the knowing of goodness instead of being the experience of pleasure. Love the goodness of it and the heart becomes stable in openness.

Q:  I feel a lot of relief in my body. It makes sense because I’ve been believing that pleasure is bad. Thank you, John.

Other Popular Talks

Awakening And Shifting To A Greater Reality

Q:  When I’m together with my wife and she pours into me, I drop into deeper levels. I remember you saying that one has to move the energy within the levels to anchor this greater reality into this reality. How can I move that energy when I’m in the deeper levels? 

John: Awareness moves that energy by being the same as meaning in that level.  You won’t be able to move it at first. It doesn’t move as your body moves...

Read More »

A Life-Change For Your Marriage: Loving Your Husband From A Deeper You

Q: I feel as if I’m in the biggest crisis of my life. I’ve been married for twenty years, and thirty years ago I was in love with a man twenty years older than me. He was married, with children. A few years ago he called me and our love is still there. My husband knows about him. It’s so hard to choose between these two men. I need your help! And recently the word “stay” has been coming to me.

John: Stay in your relationship with your husband...

Read More »

On EMF Exposure, Fear And Your Real Freedom

Q: I lived on a mountain, which I loved, and they’ve put in microwave towers. I’ve had heart attacks and strokes. I’ve been in hospital with all those symptoms and met the pain and shock running through my brain. I’ve been in this wonderful state of beingness and surrendered to dying from a stroke, but I realized I was a ‘doing’ in it. There’s a gap there, somehow, and when I open to the fear it can still gobble me up. Everyone else seems unaffected.

John: When you’re being what you really are, anything that happens to your person, to your body, to your self, to your heart, truly opens you...

Read More »