Present in a Hug, and Healed

WHEN: October 9, 2014 Evening Meeting

Q: I want to thank you for that connection we had on Saturday night and your continued loving support of me and my wife as a couple. I’ve asked you on numerous occasions to help me move through difficulty or find a way to overcome challenges and of course you’re able to do that in ways I don’t understand but I know it’s happening.

I saw that I completely reattached to what I was before an event that happened when I was about seven. I realized how much I vastly loved my mother when I was a little boy and just as much how I formed a hate for her. I want to clarify that the event didn’t have to do with her. I know what body memory is, of course, and mental memory, but this event and aftermath of it has everything to do with my patterning and conditioning. After that event, I closed my heart so hard and the first person I closed it to was my mother. I held her responsible and I didn’t even know that had happened until a couple of years ago and I don’t want to dwell on the pain, just reconnect with what I was fully, and I know I’m able to do that more.

But this self that I constructed is pretty tenacious and it brings challenges that becoming aware of and I’m here, not to tell a story, but because you’re the number one person to maybe give me a really solid re-connection with that sparkle I had, like I see in the kids here. And in that, of course, is every reason for me to feel the love for my mother that I had before, because holding it back, the damage, I’m holding it from me, my wife, and everyone, everywhere.

John: No event prevents your response, and when you’re honest to your heart, you love responding. When you’re honest to your heart, response is natural to you. When you’re honest to your heart, you respond as your heart. If anything of your past comes up, relate to it from your heart. Openness and softness moves, changing your past. It changes your relationship to your past. It changes how you see it. It changes your presence in it, and there your past opens and you are free of what it was before.

Q: At one point you told me I had to hit a wall of perspective and, well, that’s my wall back there. I don’t know, I guess that’s what I’m doing up here.

John: I overcame it in you as soon as we hugged. You came in and you left opened.

Q: When I reconnect with that little boy that is me, I have to give up everything that I have constructed. There’s no room for any of that because of how much love I have. I don’t have the energy to sustain any other coverings. It’s always that, the loss of control that comes with that choice, the perceived loss that keeps me from falling into you. It’s just a matter of relaxing, and yes, it’s fear.

John: You don’t do that when we have hugged.

Q: I know what it feels like not to maintain that control, but I still turn it on and off.

John: Stay in the hug.

Q: When I stay in the hug like this, it’s like I was seeing things in 2D. I was mistaken because now this is 3D.

John: This is 3D plus.

Q: I know that I know how to meet you in this and it’s just for me to really trust that knowing or is that wall of perspective that you recommended I hit, is that an awakening, or would it just be seen in 3D plus?

John: It’s the thinking that comes from seeing in 3D plus.

Q: That’s very clear to me, what you just said. I can see it’s just no more complicated than for me to reconnect with that bottomless love I had for my mother back when I was a boy.

John: Concerning your self and others, form no opinions and you won’t be chained to them anymore. Concerning your self and others, all you have is your response to what you know in your heart, like when you were little.

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