Q: My mother is very ill. She’s likely to die very soon, and in my self I’m panicking.
John: When she dies, she will be so fine.
Q: In my heart I know everything’s okay, yet I feel very alone with it.
John: Then that’s that. What is real is right there. You go to your heart and stay there: not just concerning your mother dying but concerning your whole life, concerning everything. You will, a little bit, turn into what she will be after she’s died, and your life – what you have left of it – will not continue to just pass away.
Lucky for you that she’s dying, because her dying brings you back to what matters. In her dying, a little door is open for you. It won’t stay open for very long – just long enough for you to realize and to enter. That will be the change of everything that has mattered in your self, the change of everything that has mattered in your life. In a tiny way, you get to follow her and a little bit of her change will be yours. You lucky man.
The opportunity is fleeting. As it passes, familiarity in all of your self resumes its course. You’ll continue to be busy with so many important things. You’ll continue to be consumed with all that matters so much, but it won’t include what matters in this tiny little door of opening.
As she dies, all you have in her is your bond with her. Everything else you don’t need. It’s within your bond with her that you can even see her. You’ll see her as she goes, even if she can’t see so well until she’s gone.