Q: I can’t really ask a question or something, it is just a fear. There is so much fear inside me, of being alone and I can’t really…
John: When you fear being alone, that makes you lonely. When within, you let yourself completely relax into enjoying being utterly alone, without need of anything, then you find out, in the most intimate way, that you are not alone. That you are intimately connected with nectar everywhere. Instead of being alone in your mind, be alone in your heart. There is no nourishment in being in your mind. There is nourishment in you being in your heart. All of the nourishment you are looking for isn’t in your mind. And it is also not in this life. It is within you. And the doorway is your heart.
Do you enjoy cappuccino? Then cappuccino is your way home. When you are enjoying cappuccino, notice what is happening. You cannot even enjoy cappuccino when you sip it without dropping out of your mind into your heart.
Q: I really don’t understand, because it is something outside?
John: When you are enjoying it, it is not something outside. It is something within you. When you are enjoying a cappuccino, you are actually enjoying something within you. Notice what is happening when you are enjoying a cappuccino. Your system relaxes and is absorbing something. Your whole system is responding.The response of your own system shows you how to be. And it is the same thing when you sit in a hot bath or stand under a shower. Notice what is happening. If you are absorbing it, that is you dropping out of your mind and into your heart. And it happens so easily that you miss it. You are not noticing it, because within it, you are not doing something. You are not doing something within. What you notice most is your doing within. What you notice the very least is a very little moment when you are actually being within.
There are these little moments all day long. And what you notice all day long is not your beingness. What you notice all day long is everything that you are doing, because that for you is what shows. When you put your shoes on, there is a moment, when there is a matching of what your feet are and what your shoes actually, really are, which is not what you think they are or what they look like. But there is a matching of beingness. And it is so subtle and so natural that you don’t notice it. The next time you put your shoes on, notice what is happening within. And you will notice a moment of beingness just by putting your shoes on. When you notice that, then every time you put your shoes on, you are reminded within, how to be. Every time you put your coat on, there is a very subtle moment that is magical. You are so used to it, and it happens so naturally, that you are not noticing it any more. Let yourself notice what happens. There is a beingness in your coat, and there is a beingness to your body. And the moment you put your coat on, there is a matching of beingness.
There is a oneness of being that flows. It is very subtle. But when you let yourself notice it, it knocks on your heart. It is not something that you understand in your mind. But it is something that you recognize in your heart. The next time you sip a cappuccino, notice the meaningfulness within. The meaningfulness is there because there is a flow of beingness. Without that meaningfulness within, you would not be able to enjoy a cappuccino. Notice a very subtle meaningfulness in every little thing in your life. Instead of noticing what is obvious to your mind, which is what you are used to, begin to notice what occurs and touches within your heart. You will be amazed at how much life is actually full of nectar when you are being in it. The more subtle the noticing, the deeper the nectar.
You are used to noticing everything that appears as big within your mind. What you are overlooking is the very tender little. It is that which touches your heart and connects you with meaning. Not the kind of meaning that you understand with your mind, but the kind of meaning that you know in your heart. Enjoy sipping a cappuccino and then notice what is happening within. Notice what it is within, that is magical, and then remain in that, and be that, without the cappuccino. When you are remaining in that and being that without the cappuccino, that gives you new eyes. Then you will see what it is that you are being. You will see it all around you. Then you will recognize that it has always been there. It is only you that has been gone, not it, gone somewhere in your mind, instead of being in your heart.
It is only when you are being in your heart that you can see what you know. When you are being in your heart, seeing what you know, you let all of your heart dissolve into what you know. That is you returning to the source. That is you being where you came from. That is you being what it is that you are most deeply longing for, being it instead of looking for it. When you look for what you know in your mind, all you will find is thinking. When you return to where your mind came from, that is you returning to your heart. Then let yourself return to where your heart came from, which is something that your mind doesn’t know. But when you are being in your heart, your heart does know. And when you are surrendering to what your heart knows, that is you returning to where it came from.
It is a very gentle and subtle melting, in the same way that you would enjoy sipping the cappuccino. You will find the very same when you enjoy sitting with a tree. You won’t find it in your mind, because the tree doesn’t exist in your mind. It exists only in your heart. It is only your heart that knows what a tree is. Your mind only perceives the tree; it doesn’t know the tree. If you are lonely, it is because you are existing in your mind. When you let yourself be warmly alone in your heart, you will find yourself one with everything. What you will find there is flow. It is so easy, you have been missing it. You have been missing it in all the moments of your day because you are focused on what you see in your mind instead of being focused on something that you know in your heart.