Q: I want to talk to you about control. I really know I need to let go of control in my life, in particular my controlling of other people. I’m always telling my partner what to do, and not believing he’s doing his best.

John: That’s because you let your nervous system master you. You let your nervous system rule instead of you letting your gentled and quieted heart rule. 

Practically, this is like you, in the circumstances of your relationship and your life, quietly enjoying that you no longer need to be in control; you, quietly being nurtured in no longer needing control. ..

Q: I’ve been in relationship for almost twenty years, and in all these years of living next to each other we don’t have togetherness; we can’t connect and communicate. It’s as if we speak different languages. Something in me says this part of my life is over, but I also wonder if I’m creating the problem and don’t give him a chance to understand me.

John: He doesn’t need to understand you. To be in a real relationship the two of you only need to be together...