Q: There’s something I want to get clear about that’s been a troublemaker in my life since I was little. You’ve recently said something like: “Your sexuality is made for this” and “the closest in all of your life for this to have is your sexuality.” Something like that. And it links to something else you’ve said recently, too, which is to do with coming here to marry on the highest level. Are you speaking about the power of human sexuality to move through and with that?
John: Not its power, but its inherent capacity to translate your being, and beyond, into your self and to your self.
Q: I don’t understand.
John: Sexuality is the most powerful human engine to translate into your self and to your self what is deeper than your self. Sexuality is first a mystery. In you, it’s your mystery. Experience of sexuality in your self covers that mystery. Experience turns your sexuality into something that is all understood. That’s not real. The mystery of your sexuality is real.
Q: That feels like a relief!
John: Draw any conclusions about your sexuality and you cover its mystery – conclusions both positive and negative.
Q: So that place of the melding, of consuming and being consumed is the non-polarity unity space that feels so sexual but not personal, sometimes, for me.
John: Don’t understand your sexuality, and it flowers because its mystery moves. As the mystery of your sexuality is free to move in your body and in your self, it cleans you.
Q: But sometimes I block it.
John: Do anything with it for your self and from your self, and you block its mystery. You block its magicalness. The movement of the mystery of your sexuality unstopped, in your body and in your self, re-contextualizes you. You don’t get to understand you: you get to know you.
The magical sexual fields, within, are inaccessible to your self. They are only accessible by you, you without your self. They are accessible to you as you are taken by the unknown within, in you, that you directly know the presence of, but in your self are clueless about. Presume to understand and you lose accessibility. Understanding doesn’t give it to you. It doesn’t give you the access. Pure you does.
For you to really get to know its mystery is for you to let its garden grow, flourish in your body and in your self without you doing anything with that in your life, without you making it useful positively or negatively.
You freely let this garden develop in your body, move freely in your body, move freely in your self, without you in your life using that to create a bridge to others; that it lives contained in your body, contained in your self. But the depth of beingness that moves in the mystery of your sexuality, that beingness freely moves outside of your body, outside of your self, to everyone and everything. That is deeper level womanness.
Q: I see how trying to understand and judging how far in I can go is blocking me from entering further. There’s this very human part of me that wants to say I’m so sorry for not getting it right sooner.
John: That’s easy: forgiven!
Q: And it’s okay if it’s just a little bit of knowing and beingness? Everything doesn’t all have to be ethereal and celestial? Because I have these peak experiences and then I think “That’s it! I need to be there every second!” And I’m not.
John: Erase them. Erase your peak experiences, and their frequency, their code, lives: lives in you, moves in you. As you reference from your self the experience, you cover its frequency; you cover its coding.
John: Be warmly blind in all of your self concerning spirituality, and you’ll see.
Q: Oh, I love that! That gentle, tender, delicateness, warmly blind.
John: You are loved. Leave everything out of that. Don’t connect it to anything. Live loved, and you’ll turn into it. No mental connections, no beliefs, no conclusions, no bridges. Just loved. No love narrative. Just you, loved.
If that is the only thing that you live, inside, nothing added to it for the rest of your life, you will die in a garden, a garden that has grown all of your life. That garden that you die in, after you’ve died, lives.
You, loved, without any mental connection … and the mystery of your sexuality will flourish.
Bye for now, garden girl.