How To Argue Well

WHEN: July 5, 2003 Evening Meeting

Q: I don’t want to stay in my patterned ways of relating, and the best way I know is not to let arguments persist.

John: For arguments to become fewer you would have to learn to argue well. For you to learn to argue well is for you to use everything that you are in support of clarity coming through. In a good argument, no one wins but clarity.

Q: I’ve experienced that. There was no emotion; there was straightness and I was in my feet. I saw that as not standing in myself but in the inner me. Is that true?

John: Study those qualities by caring for them. In learning how to argue well you would have to develop well, developing your heart and your mind because of your eagerness to be true.

Q: What do you mean by “argue well”?

John: For you to learn to argue well you cannot use your will, either in strength or in weakness. It is just you intricately applying what you know, with all of your heart, through all of your mind. It is a skill of kindness to learn. Without it clarity cannot make its point.

It is essential to be moving in a direction of having good arguments. Love, moving through the mind, argues so well. It is all for the sake of clarity. It begins in your heart with what you know, then see that it moves through your mind without a catch – without you getting stuck. Begin with what is clear in your heart and then gently, but surely, apply it. It is about applying simplicity in complex things.

Other Popular Talks

Real Power: Givenness To Love In The Midst Of Polarity

Q: I’ve recently experienced a restedness within and I know there’s new life there. I feel I’m stepping into something of the weakness you speak of. Would you speak more about weakness and real power?

John: From within the conditioning in our selves, we relate to power as what gives us advantage: an advantage over vulnerability, an advantage over weakness, an advantage in being taken advantage of, an advantage in unfairness, having an advantage in being liked, being loved, being cared for. It’s all an abuse of power: the use of power that doesn’t come from within nurture, the use of power that has its relationship to lack, the use of power that perceivably gives remedy to lack...

Read More »

What Is Real Forgiveness?

Q: I want to talk about forgiveness. We’re often told to forgive this and forgive that, but if we’re really coming from our heart there is no need for forgiveness. 

John: Yes. When you hold a grudge, or when you’re closing and hardening towards someone because of how they’ve treated you, it doesn’t matter how wrongly you’re treated, you’re not right in closing or hardening. So in that way no one has a good or a real reason to close and harden. 

We can close and harden when we’re mistreated, and what we understand in ourselves is that ultimately we need to come to a place of forgiving, forgiving the other...

Read More »

My Mother Is Dying …

Q: My mother is very ill. She’s likely to die very soon, and in my self I’m panicking. 

John: When she dies, she will be so fine. 

Q: In my heart I know everything’s okay, yet I feel very alone with it.

John: Then that’s that. What is real is right there. You go to your heart and stay there: not just concerning your mother dying but concerning your whole life, concerning everything. You will, a little bit, turn into what she will be after she’s died, and your life – what you have left of it – will not continue to just pass away. ..

Read More »