Gently Letting In Your Past

WHEN: December 9, 2002 Afternoon Meeting

Q: Sometimes in my connection with you I hit a wall inside. There’s a sense of something bad in me and I wonder about it. When I was eighteen I had an abortion. I was four months pregnant. After the event, I completely cut off from it and put it behind me. I didn’t want to think about it. I realize that somewhere it’s affected my whole life, that on some level I’ve been punishing myself or haven’t really forgiven myself. I never really got down to feeling it. Can you speak about truly forgiving something like that?

John: While being gentle with your self, letting in what you’ve done. While judging nothing, letting your self feel everything, letting what is still in your body move through your thinking and your feeling. Realize what you have done without judging your self. To turn away from what you have done is to shut off from your self.

It is of such value to, very gently, let in everything that you have ever done. Not digging it all up; just no longer resisting any of it. You can only be as deeply open now as you are deeply open to your past. Now includes your past. Your future is as restricted as your responses to your past. Let everything come up as it does, regaining all of your sensitivity back.

Q: How far back does ‘past’ go?

John: As far back as it comes from.

Q: Does that mean memories and knowings that don’t seem to have come from what I’ve known in this particular life?

John: Let in everything while drawing no conclusions: not believing more than what you actually know is true.

 

Other Popular Talks

Turning Into The Meaning Of Just One Word

Q: I remember you once speaking to me of the value of just one word and how far it could take me. Would you say more?

John: When you’re really listening and very gentled within, there will always be one word that represents what you are most learning, one word being birthed in you. Then, what is being birthed with that one word is the depth of its meaning. One word slowly turns into a whole universe.

There is a whole gestation period in realizing just one word, in you slowly turning into the meaning of one word...

Read More »

What You Truly Are Is Grace

Q: I love the truth of what I am beyond my preferences. I can see my inner face in yours and it’s like being in open sunshine. How can I open more to my shadows – those parts of me that I’ve separated from?

John: By seeing the shadows in others – not seeing such shadows with criticism or judgment, but tenderness seeing them. It is only tenderness that has the honesty to see. If someone else’s shadow can in any tiny little way find the same thing in your self, then the shadows of others, instead of being an attraction for irritation, judgment or criticism, are for you a love reflector...

Read More »

What Is Real Love?

Q: What is real love?

John: It is the most wonderful, life-giving and healing energy in the universe. It cannot comprehend frustration. It cannot be bothered or bugged. It cannot be frustrated, because love is not frustration. It cannot be provoked to be anything other than love. It doesn’t try to be itself: it cannot be anything other than itself. It is kindness and tenderness without thought, without willfulness. It does not self-reflect. It does not consider itself. It doesn’t think: it doesn’t need to think; it already is...

Read More »