Q: We’ve spoken about sexual lameness, and I know the truth of that. I’ve lived in fear of being a woman. At about three years old, I saw someone with very large breasts, and I prayed to God that I wouldn’t grow up like that. I’ve given a lot of my energy to being androgynous, but I do really want to be a woman. When I meditate, I can feel the power I could have as a woman. It’s so much more pure than the energy I put into androgyny, which is exhausting…
Q: When it comes to educating my child, I feel that I’m not being heard unless I raise my voice.
John: If you need to raise your voice to be heard, that tells you that when you speak she doesn’t believe you.
Q: She doesn’t!
John: Raising your voice doesn’t make her believe you.
Q: No, but it makes her feel fear, and then she would do what I want because she doesn’t want me to shout at her again…
Q: I’m struck by the immense emotions I have felt in just making eye-contact with you. Your teachings about honesty are what I’m looking for: not only to be honest but to speak, act and live my life in honesty. I had a dream that told me to reach out for help in finding answers. My problem is that I don’t know the questions, and it’s frustrating.
John: Then don’t reach with your right hand. Reach with your left hand. Let your right hand support that...
Q: When I first heard you speak about taking my death dearly to my heart, I was trembling and it was extremely provoking for me. I have been trying to do that, to embrace it and make it part of me. I know it’s all about letting go and basically being nobody in it. Would you speak more about it?
John: When your death is brought dearly into your heart, your whole relationship with your self ends as you’ve known it, and time, for you, opens...
Several people speak with John in the Jewel Cafe:
Q1: Things are better with my daughter.
John: It’s better between you and your self.
Q1: What do you mean by “better between me and my self”?
John: It’s not really between you and your daughter; it’s between you and your self. If you had a different self, then what you experience between you and your daughter would be completely different.
Q1: Yes, but that’s the self I have…
Q: I know that this body will be gone, and everything will be gone with it. Life is just like experience, because it comes and it goes. It brings nothing.
John: It comes with an immeasurable opportunity, and that is for you and what you first are. It offers pure awareness the possibility of evolving with great, great speed, because in every little way that pure awareness moves into manifestation, it has accurate and immediate, full reflection.
Q: But when there will be full reflection, it will be nothing, because…
John: It’s not nothing...
Q: I want to get clear about what seems like a demon that repeatedly comes in bringing pain, as if to say, “now you have to look at it.” Are there, perhaps, dark energies? How can I be with them?
John: Yes, there are dark energies and they can only work with you, influence and be a part of you when you‘re feeding your conditioning.
Q: So when I don’t feed them they have no entrance?
Q: Is it the same when there are people with this energy around them?..
Q: You have been talking about the intellect. I’m not an intellectual type; I’m more oriented to feeling.
John: Yet you have an intellect and you can use that to help that which you already know, and you can also feel.
Q: I can feel what you mean, but if I had to put it in words, I wouldn’t know where to start.
John: Then on your own, love beginning. Use your intellect sensitively to give structure to what you feel of what you know...
Q: For some time I’ve been getting a sense of the “us” as the form of the one being, and that you’re pivotal in moving “us” into form as the one being. It seems to be opening up more and more. I wondered if you could fill out something about the connectivity of “us” and how it relates to the calling, or what you are coming from?
John: What I’m bringing together through the movement of being, particularly its deeper levels, is the forming of a body of being in so many of us, where a being on the level of form that we’re familiar with in our selves is having a body through which to move in everything that is seen...
Q: My question is about the expression of the calling. How is it different from other expressions?
John: The calling is of a deeper level than any of your other levels. For the calling to come into expression, the level of the calling needs to open within your levels of expression, which changes your expression. The levels of your expression open and reveal the calling in you.
It doesn’t reveal its information in the expression. It reveals its level, the level of the calling, in your expression...
Q: As I’m sitting here together with my husband, can you speak with us about the relationship? Do the man and the woman have roles?
John: Where there is a use of personality in relating to each other, there will be an emptiness just beneath it. Keeping things active negatively or positively, on the level of personality, increases the emptiness.
Just beneath the emptiness you have your real meeting with each other, where neither personality nor emptiness matters. It is there that quieted vulnerability knows and sees...
Q: When physical death comes, what are the actual consequences of how we’ve used the opportunity of this life?
John: Don’t wait for that! The real consequence is that you will have forfeited your real, magnificent opportunity to evolve as awareness.
You’re in this body, you’re born in this body, you’ve come into this body and you have two different sets of form. You have the forms of your own being: these forms are true to everything of what you really are; they’re your perfect real forms...