A Deeper Level Of Parenting: Awakening Your Child’s Interior

WHEN: February 21, 2015 Morning Open Mic

Q: I have a question about my eleven-year-old son. He has some difficulties in school. It seems that regular school is not right for him and I’m looking at others. How do you see the importance of the school years? Am I doing more than I should, or not enough?

John: The deeper the level of your parenting, the less it makes any difference what school your child goes to.

Q: But he is only there for half a day and he suffers there!

John: If he suffers in school, he’s suffering from a lack of parenting: not a surface kind of parenting, but a depth of parenting.

If your parenting doesn’t include the realization of the depth of his own interior, then he’ll have a lack within his interior when he goes to school. In his experience, it will be about his environment. The truth of it is that it’s not a lack in his environment, or a lack of match between his environment and himself. It’s a lack of awakening within his own interior.  

Q: It’s true. I’m not sure how to get this through to him. Is it just by being this myself?  

John: Yes: by you deepening in your interior. That means that your interior can no longer be about what you think, feel and experience in your self. Your interior needs to be about what you know in your heart, and about your own being. That opens up the levels of your interior that pertain to your heart and your being, and these deeper levels begin to have mastery of the surface levels of your interior. As this takes place in you, your son sees how you are in your interior and that enables him to directly realize the deeper levels of his interior.

Q: So looking for other schools, trying to fix things or getting him a therapist are just meaningless?

John: They are not meaningless. All of those things help, and all those focuses are not the answer.

Q: The change has to come from me, then, rather than through him? Is that what you’re saying?

John: Yes. When you come from a depth of your own interior, when you are with him you’ll be with him from a greater depth of your interior. That activates a greater depth in his interior.

Other Popular Talks

Warmly At Home In Darkness

Q: About seventeen years ago I was in an accident and I was hospitalized for two years. Two years later I was in another accident and hospitalized for three more years. My mind, body – everything – collapsed and it took me a long time to recover. Three years ago my body collapsed again and I went into a coma. That was the worst: everything went totally black and all the fears and darkness from childhood came up. So much darkness! Why is this process so hard? I don’t understand...

Read More »

Do I Need A Spiritual Teacher?

Q: My question is about the role of a spiritual teacher in spiritual development. I’ve been studying with a teacher for a few years and benefiting from the practice and study of Tibetan Buddhism. Then there was a breakup of the sangha because of the misconduct of the teacher, and I lost motivation. Now I’m looking for new hope and maybe a new path. Do you think it’s important to have a teacher for spiritual development?

John: Don’t neglect the baby just because the parent has disappointed you...

Read More »

Marriage And The Soup Bone

Q: We’d like to get married soon. Can you speak to us about marriage? 

John: Marriage is like a soup bone. 

Q: Is like a what?

John: A soup bone. When you’re completely still in it and not making it about your self, you get thoroughly cooked. Every little thing comes out to be cooked. 

If you’re not open to have everything within yourself get completely cooked, then marriage won’t work...

Read More »