CONVERSATIONS WITH JOHN DE RUITER

This site hosts a collection of John de Ruiter’s teachings, many published for the first time and only available here.
The dialogues took place at international events, meetings, open mic and social gatherings, and the College of Integrated Philosophy’s Jewel Café. 

New Releases

Consciousness & Awareness

Warmly At Home In Darkness

Q: About seventeen years ago I was in an accident and I was hospitalized for two years. Two years later I was in another accident and hospitalized for three more years. My mind, body – everything – collapsed and it took me a long time to recover. Three years ago my body collapsed again and I went into a coma. That was the worst: everything went totally black and all the fears and darkness from childhood came up. So much darkness! Why is this process so hard? I don’t understand...

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Spirituality

Do I Need A Spiritual Teacher?

Q: My question is about the role of a spiritual teacher in spiritual development. I’ve been studying with a teacher for a few years and benefiting from the practice and study of Tibetan Buddhism. Then there was a breakup of the sangha because of the misconduct of the teacher, and I lost motivation. Now I’m looking for new hope and maybe a new path. Do you think it’s important to have a teacher for spiritual development?

John: Don’t neglect the baby just because the parent has disappointed you...

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Relationship

Marriage And The Soup Bone

Q: We’d like to get married soon. Can you speak to us about marriage? 

John: Marriage is like a soup bone. 

Q: Is like a what?

John: A soup bone. When you’re completely still in it and not making it about your self, you get thoroughly cooked. Every little thing comes out to be cooked. 

If you’re not open to have everything within yourself get completely cooked, then marriage won’t work...

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Editors' Picks

Relationship

Marriage And The Soup Bone

Q: We’d like to get married soon. Can you speak to us about marriage? 

John: Marriage is like a soup bone. 

Q: Is like a what?

John: A soup bone. When you’re completely still in it and not making it about your self, you get thoroughly cooked. Every little thing comes out to be cooked. 

If you’re not open to have everything within yourself get completely cooked, then marriage won’t work...

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Consciousness & Awareness

The Touch Of The Beloved Within


Q: I find it so helpful when you speak of openness and softness of heart, and that all I need is to access the teeniest bit. It relaxes me out of the suffering and stories in my self, yet it’s so easily forgotten. Can you speak more about it?

John: When you are gentled and quieted in your heart, all there really is is that tiny little bit that you know the truth of. That tiny little bit isn’t an understanding; it is the beginning of most delicate beingness...

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Sexuality

From Boy To Man: Integrating Masculine Sexual Energy

Q: You’ve recently spoken about what being woman is and I’ve been wondering whether it’s really the same to be a man.  

John: At the very base of it, yes. When awareness integrates consciousness, it doesn’t just enter into being both man and woman; it enters into being everything.  

Q: That seems very easy.

John: The only thing in the universe that does not cooperate with what is natural and easy is want and need.  ..

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