CONVERSATIONS WITH JOHN DE RUITER

This site hosts a collection of John de Ruiter’s teachings, many published for the first time and only available here.
The dialogues took place at international events, meetings, open mic and social gatherings, and the College of Integrated Philosophy’s Jewel Café. 

New Releases

Relationship

How To Argue Well

Q: I don’t want to stay in my patterned ways of relating, and the best way I know is not to let arguments persist.

John: For arguments to become fewer you would have to learn to argue well. For you to learn to argue well is for you to use everything that you are in support of clarity coming through. In a good argument, no one wins but clarity.

Q: I’ve experienced that. There was no emotion; there was straightness and I was in my feet...

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Consciousness

The Echo of Tenderness Into Eternity

Q: I have this question about innocence. All those things that we do to our selves and to other people … do they leave marks? Do they go away?

John: Never. Did you see the movie ‘The Gladiator’? What he said is true: that everything that you do now echoes through eternity.

Q: So you just let it echo?

John: That’s acceptance...

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Sexuality

The Opening of Pure, Clean Sexuality

Q: Sexuality has been a challenge for me my whole life. You have spoken about the fire of sexuality. I know a little of that, but for many years it hasn’t felt like that at all. I’ve experienced reduced potency and this has created disturbances in relationship. Now there is almost no sexuality in my life and I’ve enjoyed not having to worry about it. I don’t feel inclined to be sexual with anyone else, but without moving it in my life, how can I continue to go deeper?..

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Editors' Picks

Consciousness

The Echo of Tenderness Into Eternity

Q: I have this question about innocence. All those things that we do to our selves and to other people … do they leave marks? Do they go away?

John: Never. Did you see the movie ‘The Gladiator’? What he said is true: that everything that you do now echoes through eternity.

Q: So you just let it echo?

John: That’s acceptance...

Read More »
Sexuality

The Opening of Pure, Clean Sexuality

Q: Sexuality has been a challenge for me my whole life. You have spoken about the fire of sexuality. I know a little of that, but for many years it hasn’t felt like that at all. I’ve experienced reduced potency and this has created disturbances in relationship. Now there is almost no sexuality in my life and I’ve enjoyed not having to worry about it. I don’t feel inclined to be sexual with anyone else, but without moving it in my life, how can I continue to go deeper?..

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Pain & Suffering

Evolving In The Midst Of Bipolar Disorder

Q: For some time now I’ve experienced strong bipolar episodes. I don’t want to be a victim and I do accept responsibility, but their impact is so intense and they throw me so far from my self, I feel that I don’t have my independence anymore. There’s a relentless inevitability and I wonder what to do about it.

John: You suffer from what, in a tropical climate, is called hurricane season.

The seasons that you pass through don’t stop you from being what you first are...

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