Time and Timing

WHEN: October 2, 2011 Afternoon Meeting

Q: Can this be too much openness, if you’re not ready for it? Sometimes my heart is very open and there’s many layers removed around my self, so it’s good and I have many positive contacts  but then if something unpleasant happens, that’s too much. You really hurt.

John: That’s fine. You can’t be too open for your heart.

Q: So a big heart is okay? I have the feeling that my response is negative because I feel I have to protect my self.

John: You don’t need to protect your heart. You can protect your self as long as you’re not protecting your heart. That has you integrating your self. That has you developing in your self.  If you are all open in your heart, you’re clean. If you’re all open in your self, you are naïve.

Q: So, the heart can be open and the self should be protected, can be protected? If I manage to sort out what’s my heart and what’s my self, then this also means that my response is not negative so that I can respond in an open way.

John: Yes.

Q: So if I feel open and a bit too unprotected, does it mean that I’m confusing the two?

John: If your heart is all open, you are able to protect your self in a way that helps the other. If someone says something to you that is unfitting and your heart remains all open, you won’t be taking what the other is saying about you personally, enabling you to speak to what the other has said or done in a way that helps the other. As soon as your heart closes, you are not able to really help the other.

Q: So when I am in a situation and I have enough awareness to feel that I’m closing, how do I find the strength or courage to stop it?

John: If you try to stop it, you’re valuing your self more than openness in your heart. If you value the openness in your heart more than your self, more than valuing your self, your whole heart will open, despite what’s happening to your self. When your heart is all open, that empowers you to function with clarity in your self. When your heart closes for any reason at all, you are disempowered. When your heart is in some way closed or hard, you are not all there in your self.  You’re not present in your self. You’re occupied in your heart with something that on a heart level doesn’t matter as much as how you’re making it matter.  When your heart closes or hardens for any reason at all, from your heart you are making your self wrong. That will have you needing from within your self to be right and you’ll project what you are in your heart onto the other person.

Q: Is it about being in touch with my heart all the time?

John: To start with, yes. When you’re in touch with your heart, you become in touch with what you know the truth of in your heart. What you know the truth of in your heart is of greater value than your heart, just as your heart is of greater value than your self. As soon as you start to move within, the deeper that you go within, the greater the value. When it is that value that you are awakening to and living for, then it is such value that fills your heart and fills your self. It becomes your life. It fills your life.

If your heart is always more open than what your self is, you’re getting it right. If your self is more open than what your heart is, you’re fooling your self. You’re lost in your self.

Q: So is it also about  timing, to do what I’m ready to do or do what my heart is ready to do?

John: Always opening. On a heart level it is always time to open. Timing has to do with your self. Timing is developmental. Time has to do with your heart. Your real sense of time comes from openness in your heart. The application of that in your self with others has to do with timing.

Listen to John de Ruiter Audio Podcast 44 – Time and Timing or visit the John de Ruiter YouTube Channel 

Other Popular Talks

How Can I Be Of Real Support?

Q: I’ve recently welcomed into my home a family member who is an addict. Normally I’m a fairly balanced person, but now there’s uncertainty about how to manage everything and support her. I feel both resentment and great love. I’m struggling with how to be balanced in my heart amongst all the different responsibilities and give support, without really knowing how. Can you help?

John: Any past investments that you’ve had in hardening or in closing, any excuses that you have for ill-feeling or resentment you don’t need for you to be in your heart toward the other...

Read More »

Supporting Your Child Through Divorce

Q: How can I best support my daughter through her parents’ splitting-up and through all the changing outer circumstances, like moving house?

John: By enjoying her.

Q: “Enjoying” … do you mean loving?

John: “Loving” can become complicated.

Q: What do you mean by that?

John: If you enjoy her, you will love her. If you “love” her you might be putting something on to her.

Q: A bit too much?

John: Love is not too much...

Read More »

What Shall I Do With The Rest Of My Life?

Q: I recently retired from work. I’m sixty-two. I intend to live beyond ninety and am thinking what to do with the remaining thirty years of my life. The question is about focus and choice. What is my task for these remaining thirty years in this life?

John: To awaken to your much greater interior within that hasn’t yet been a part of your life. Your awakening to that will cost you what has been your life.

Aside from anything at all to do with your self, you have knowledge that there’s more and that the more isn’t at all like your self; it isn’t at all like what your life has been...

Read More »