Transcripts From Location: The Netherlands

Parenting

Supporting Your Child Through Divorce

Q: How can I best support my daughter through her parents’ splitting-up and through all the changing outer circumstances, like moving house?

John: By enjoying her.

Q: “Enjoying” … do you mean loving?

John: “Loving” can become complicated.

Q: What do you mean by that?

John: If you enjoy her, you will love her. If you “love” her you might be putting something on to her.

Q: A bit too much?

John: Love is not too much...

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Enlightenment & Awakening

What Shall I Do With The Rest Of My Life?

Q: I recently retired from work. I’m sixty-two. I intend to live beyond ninety and am thinking what to do with the remaining thirty years of my life. The question is about focus and choice. What is my task for these remaining thirty years in this life?

John: To awaken to your much greater interior within that hasn’t yet been a part of your life. Your awakening to that will cost you what has been your life.

Aside from anything at all to do with your self, you have knowledge that there’s more and that the more isn’t at all like your self; it isn’t at all like what your life has been...

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Relationship

Relating To A Woman’s Mystery

Q: I wanted to speak with you about my connection to women in my life. I’m used to ease in different areas in my life and looking back I see that getting in touch with women, meeting women, connecting with women had been hard for me to do even in childhood days.  There was a shift in this a couple of years ago which made me experience my self much more open, which led to a lot of encounters; experiences on my side which were quite hard to digest for me…

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Parenting

Move with Clarity, but Hold it Lightly

Q: I hope to get more ability and clarity. I saw that I took my self to heart for a long time and I feel embarrassing and awkward.

John: Instead of feeling embarrassed and awkward in your self, with a little shift you can be sweetly embarrassed and sweetly awkward. That puts you in your heart while you’re in your self. When you feel deflated in your self, that comes from an ego reference that you’ve developed, and with just a little shift you can dislodge that…

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Pain & Suffering

Rested in Your Heart Despite an Agitated Nervous System

Q: I’ve had some insights and experiences in the past but I forget. Then there is in daily life this identification again with emotions, thoughts. Maybe you can say something about this.

John: Your difficulty is quite understandable. If you had no forms, if you didn’t have a body and a self, you wouldn’t have the constant reflection back to you. You would be unstructured awareness. All of your forms enable you to experience what you are in form, but if that form draws you into its structures it necessarily draws you into an experience…

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Meaning of Life

You Are the Healer of Your Self and Your Person

Q: I’d like to know why I don’t have a flow in my finance, home and work.

John: For you that isn’t going to come easily. For some, with a little added awareness, there’s a lot of result; for you it would require much awareness to have some result. You would experience that and perceive that as a disadvantage.

It is a disadvantage to your self in your person from a worldly perspective, but it isn’t a disadvantage to you. Your acceptance of the experience of that lack enables you not to be a victim of it, not a victim of comparison, enabling you to take responsibility for it…

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Enlightenment & Awakening

Openness And Softness Of Heart: The Real Connection With Your Own Being – Part 2

John: With your self not needing to hold together, not needing to be your life-feed and your source, it is able to live. Your self then no longer has your desperate grasp in it, enabling you to develop as a being in it. Movement in your self that doesn’t come from your self changes your self. Your self slowly matches whatever it is that you are being in it. If that is a distorted beingness such as your heart being closed and hard, your self in time becomes the same...

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Enlightenment & Awakening

Openness And Softness Of Heart: The Real Connection With Your Own Being – Part 1

Q: Good morning, John. I have a question about what you call the being or beingness. You say this deconstruction of the self is not possible by means of the self but only from a deeper level, and I’m not sure what you mean with being and if there is a connection to that or if I overlook it all the time.

John: Openness and softness of heart is real connection with your own being. The place of connection or separation in relationship to your own being is your heart...

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Meaning of Life

Knowing: the Universe of Your Own Experience

Q: Hi, John I’m just back from a Zen retreat. I was there sitting for five hours a day looking at a wall, questioning myself: ‘who am I?’ What I found was that I don’t know. I don’t know who is sitting here. I don’t know who is speaking, who is walking, who is moving. The only thing I know is that I’m here.

John: You are meaning. There you are, and there is no ‘who.’ You are meaning moving as intimacy of being…

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Enlightenment & Awakening

Being Free Of Your Thinking Mind

Q: I have a lot of thinking in my life. I was wondering if you would be willing to help or guide me a little to liberate me from that in this moment.

John: For you to change that, you would have to shift your orientation as awareness. The thinking offers you something less than what you first are. It satisfies something that you’re being in your self. Your thinking being a strength will have you naturally orienting to that in terms of function and facility...

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