CONVERSATIONS WITH JOHN DE RUITER

This site hosts a collection of John de Ruiter’s teachings, many published for the first time and only available here.
The dialogues took place at international events, meetings, open mic and social gatherings, and the College of Integrated Philosophy’s Jewel Café. 

New Releases

Relationship

A Real Foundation For Relationship

Q: I’d like you to help me look deeper at a pattern of mine. I keep falling in love with men who seemingly don’t want a committed relationship. I can see the reflection of my own lack of commitment and maybe even lack of loving, yet I do feel that the love is very genuine.  

John: The love for …?

Q: The man, and the love for truth.

John: Leave out the first one! Let your whole life turn into the second one...

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Work

I’m Not Getting The Promotion I Deserve!

Q: My husband and I worked very hard last year and didn’t get promoted. What can we do to have our work recognized? We work very hard, do our duty, but there seems to be no justice.

John: Do what you’re already doing without needing to be promoted. That makes you more promotable than when you need to be promoted. Once you both have what you’re looking for, then what will you do?

Q: I’d continue in the work I’ve chosen, but I am looking for justice and recognition in our workplace...

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Pain & Suffering

Evolving In The Midst Of Bipolar Disorder

Q: For some time now I’ve experienced strong bipolar episodes. I don’t want to be a victim and I do accept responsibility, but their impact is so intense and they throw me so far from my self, I feel that I don’t have my independence anymore. There’s a relentless inevitability and I wonder what to do about it.

John: You suffer from what, in a tropical climate, is called hurricane season.

The seasons that you pass through don’t stop you from being what you first are...

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Editors' Picks

Pain & Suffering

Evolving In The Midst Of Bipolar Disorder

Q: For some time now I’ve experienced strong bipolar episodes. I don’t want to be a victim and I do accept responsibility, but their impact is so intense and they throw me so far from my self, I feel that I don’t have my independence anymore. There’s a relentless inevitability and I wonder what to do about it.

John: You suffer from what, in a tropical climate, is called hurricane season.

The seasons that you pass through don’t stop you from being what you first are...

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Pain & Suffering

How Can I Experience Forgiveness?

Q: I feel so much pain in my heart. Can you speak of how to experience forgiveness?

John: By never, ever being hard on your self again.  

Q: How do you do that?

John: By never judging yourself based on anything that you’ve ever learned, never judging yourself based on anything that you’ve ever believed; by letting your whole heart be totally naked, and letting it stay naked.

Q: It stays naked by not reacting to the mind’s thoughts?..

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Relationship

Bringing New, Deeper Love Into Your Marriage

Quote: Everything that you would learn in your next relationship, pour into this one.

Q: I’ve been in love with my husband for many years and we have two children. For a few months I’ve been in a deep connection and love with another man, and this love feels so deep, peaceful, and easy. I’m seeing how my ability to be in love depends on the qualities in another and wonder if I’m evolved enough to be with someone who’s closed and distant...

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